Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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