I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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