I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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