I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
