:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
