It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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