I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
wow bdsm is so cute
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