no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
