He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
