Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm both gender and math confused
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
