I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
