Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need help removing her.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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