i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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