How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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