If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
