Me. At least after what I've been through.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
