Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
