Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
