I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
