I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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