What a fucking waste of an outfit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
