how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
