Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
