2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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