Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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