Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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