PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
