Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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