I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
porn star boner night. come get it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
