So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
