We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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