i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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