holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
