I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
