Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize