you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
