somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
