Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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