He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
