Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
