Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
