i was born a porn star she said
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
