Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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