I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
