if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
