Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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