i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
