Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
