I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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