this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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