Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My hand turned me down
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
