Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
