OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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