If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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