you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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