I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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