I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I see more hoeing in ur future
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
