did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
