yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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