only if we run a train.
done.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
