So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
